Movie Night: Live Blogging “Wind”

For however blah their lives are now, Boomerang Blog upkeepers Stephanie and Jessica know that no matter how hard they try, life will never be as good as it was during their last year of summer camp.  Join them now as they attempt to relive their past by watching one of Beach Point Sailing Camp’s favorite films: Wind.

Wind, which is based on a true story, stars Matthew Modine and a pre-nose job Jennifer Gray.  Modine plays Will Parker, a young man trying to regain his and America’s credibility as sailors by attempting to reclaim the illustrious America’s Cup (the world’s most prestigious sailing trophy.)  Having been an essential part of the US crew that lost the Cup (which had brought on a cursed losing streak for the US ever since) Modine attempts to reclaim the title for himself and his country.  He solicits help from his former sailing partner and ex-girlfriend, Kate Bass ( Jennifer Grey.)  Also there is a hot rich girl, Stellan Skarsgard, and some wacky Australians.  It’s a good time.

JESS: I’m so excited.  Woah, naked Matthew Modine.

JESS: My mistake, naked Jennifer Grey.

JESS: This is where they introduce the annoying inspirational theme music.

STEPH: Spinnaker dragging!  and why is Morgan wearing a captain’s hat?

JESS: Francis Ford Coppola Executive Produced this?  I expect better from him.

STEPH: The winged keel is lovely, but historically inaccurate.  The first winged keel was on the Australia II, the boat that took the America’s Cup away from the Americans in 1983 (this according to wikipedia)

JESS: Daaang, Steph.  Good detective work.

STEPH: Another dragging spinnaker.  Join me in a tally: II (and they call themselves professional sailors)

JESS: Also there was some vintage 90’s nose zinc in that last scene.

STEPH: That’s III.  Jess, stand by to jibe.

JESS: This is the first time Parker and Bass is pronounced Pahhhhkah and Bahhhhss in this movie.  That was an Australian accent btw.

JESS: That’s not a spinnaker, its a jib, Matthew Modine.  Also, when people capsize during races, they unflip the boat and get right back in, they don’t chill in the water and try to sex one another.

STEPH: “Take a look at this sexy boat” = lamest pretext for getting it on with someone.  Besides Parker, she’s already your girlfriend.

JESS: Radiance vs. BOOMERANG!?!?!?!  Oh God, Steph.  The US loses to a boat called Boomerang run by evil Australians!

STEPH: The digital analysis of the race is reminscent of the game Regatta.

JESS: I love how in the sailing scenes where the US is winning its all sunny and sparkly and then when they get in the shit with the Australians it gets all cloudy and gray.

STEPH: The Americans look so glum.

STEPH: Which looks worse?  Matthew Modine’s neckerchief or Stellan Skarsgard’s suspenders/panama hat?

JESS: I don’t think Matthew Modine wants that girl to imagine her hand is a boat…

JESS: A good way to crash a pick up truck: have Jennifer Grey hoist a sail on top of it and set it loose in the desert.

STEPH: I love how the crew arrive in all manner of vehicles.  The only thing missing was a jet-pack.

JESS: This is it! The big race!  That shirtless dancing is only mildly offensive.

STEPH: Tack morons!

STEPH: Whomper count begins: II

JESS: The next time my parents tell me to do something I don’t want to do, I’m just going to start banging out some Native American tribal beat on the nearest available surface.  If this movie teaches me anything, it’s that that will work.

JESS: Also that I should flip coins when making life altering decisions.

JESS: Yes! Pahhhker and Bass are reunited!

STEPH: The calm seas remind me of Long Island Sound.  Also the year we beat the fleet at Sears Cup, only to have the race called.  Too bad you weren’t there for that one Jess.

STEPH: “Let’s rolltack this mother.”  And yes, they are up to something.  Going towards a ridiculously noticeable wind line.

JESS: “He’s up to something.  He’s tacking” = my favorite line in this movie.  And now it’s blowing like, 30 knots.  Cinematic magic!

STEPH: Spinnaker in water count: IV, Whomper Count: III

STEPH: Whomper Count: VIII

JESS: Whomper count is now up to like, 13.  Also I hate that that guy takes credit for Kate’s invention!  It’s because she’s a woman.

JESS: Jack! You Bastard!  That was the fucking Whomper!

STEPH: Let the tacking battle begin!

JESS: I know I’ve seen this movie many times, but I always get nervous right here.  lolz.

JESS: He’s thrown him a dummy tack! Cue the music!

STEPH: It still makes me smile when Parker and Bass are reunited again.  So touching.

THE END.

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2 responses to “Movie Night: Live Blogging “Wind”

  1. That sounds very similar to the skiing classic “Aspen Extreme,” described on the box cover as “Top Gun on the ski slopes!” I can only hope the drinking game for it is as good.

    • You’re right, a Wind drinking game should be the next step. Seeing as there isn’t nearly as much homoeroticism in Wind as there is in Top Gun… maybe every time someone makes a face like this? (From when they put up the famous whomper.)

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